Connections, Networking and Montessori
Books, children, career moves and the odds...
Making Connections
"We are living in a world now where we are so disconnected from ourselves that we cannot connect with other people. And that is because everybody is perpetrating a fraud." - Viola Davis in her Actors on Actors conversation with Jennifer Lawrence for Variety, 2022.
Since resigning and writing about my experience so publicly, I have had quite a few meetings with people who reached out to me online—people wanting to share their stories, people wanting to learn more, people looking for a few words of encouragement, and people wanting to share a few encouraging words with me. What strikes me most during these encounters is the shared feeling of recognition and connection they felt through my words. It’s as if my story gave voice to their silent struggles, helping them find the words they’ve been searching for.
Viola Davis’ words struck a chord with me because they mirrored my own realization. To truly capture the essence of my experiences in my writing and to bring my craft to life, I had to reconnect to myself. I was lost for a second. This journey involved therapy, deep reflection, and most importantly, letting all facades go. I could be a full human being for the world to see, accomplished but broken, angry, depressed, and demoralized.
And this journey wasn’t just about enhancing my art or telling a better story. It was about finding a way back to genuine human connection—rekindling that spark within me so I could see and be seen for who I truly am.
Reconnecting with ourselves. Maybe this is something we should study, not just as a way to project good art to the world, but to also reconnect with people. What are some methods you have tried?
The Writing Center
Speaking of connections, I recently visited a writing group in Maryland, and the experience was really fulfilling. The meeting kicked off with a lively discussion topic, followed by members sharing excerpts from their current projects. The evening rounded off with a social hour, after which everyone headed home. I walked away from it feeling like I had found a tribe I could be a part of because: A. I have a hobby again. (Something you seem to lose when you have kids.) B. I got to meet people who get just as geeked about writing as I do.
Not every city or town has something like this, but I am very happy to be in a place that does. Writing can be such a strange and isolating experience, but finding and connecting with a community of people struggling with the same art is restorative and encouraging.
Here are a few of the writing groups recommended to me in the DMV area. I am sure there are more:
American Society of Journalists and Authors
How Montessori Sells
We've been on the hunt for a new childcare center and have explored various models of early childhood education. However, few groups know how to market themselves as effectively as Montessori educators do.
I'm aware that Montessori enthusiasts can sometimes seem a bit intense, as if they're too deeply invested in their model. However, any model that encourages my child to do things independently, so I no longer have to, immediately has my attention.
Montessori-based center directors, especially those that are accredited (a rarity in the state of Maryland), demonstrate a remarkable ability to discuss and articulate their learning philosophy with greater clarity than other centers. This observation comes from my experiences with numerous centers both in the U.S. and Spain.
Years ago, I visited a center in Austin, Texas, for this story, and now, as a mother looking for a place for my kids, I am visiting places in Maryland. Each time I visit a Montessori center, the mission and model are clear: child-directed learning, multi-age groups, and an emphasis on learning with real-world objects over traditional toys. Though, I do notice that the majority of the students in these centers are still not very diverse.
Interacting with educators at Montessori centers, it's evident that their work is more than just a job; it's a lifestyle. While this may be daunting for some, the comprehensive understanding and ability to convey how children learn and the theory supporting each activity is a real selling point.
If you are interested, here is how you can find centers in your area.
Career Moves - Back to Networking
Networking can sometimes feel like the antithesis of reconnecting with yourself to build authentic connections with others, wading through a sea of superficiality. But I’ve realized it doesn’t have to be. This week, I found myself at a quintessentially DC event—a glitzy opening for a women's suit brand nestled in the heart of Georgetown.
I recognized familiar figures from my past: a press secretary from the mayor's office, now working for Michelle Obama’s When We All Vote initiative, and media personalities and correspondents I’d encountered at previous gatherings. But one of the best sights was a mother with her two kids. She wore a backpack with their changing clothes and a sippy cup over her professional attire. Women gathered, chatted with, and entertained her kids while she networked, glancing back to ensure they hadn’t wandered off.
My second favorite moment of the evening was when a group burst out singing "Happy Birthday" to one of the women and started dancing. If only all networking events were like this.
But I feel like we are getting closer. In a place like D.C., as a woman of color, there are more and more instances where you are not the only one in the room at a networking event. When that happens, we are able to bring more of our most authentic selves to these types of gatherings, making them a bit less painful. In those types of spaces, the need for liquid courage to facilitate authentic, professional exchanges slowly diminishes.
Through all this, my network has been a real game-changer for me. They’ve come through in ways I didn’t even know I needed. My therapist was onto something when she said to make time for your people. It’s been a lifeline, reminding me that even in the hustle of networking, there's room for authentic connections.
What I am reading…
What I am reading…
Malcolm Gladwell’s The Tipping Point. Some say Gladwell comes off as elitist or arrogant in some of his writings, and I don’t always disagree. But, like so many works he has done, The Tipping Point is brilliant. I haven’t finished it, so don’t judge me if the ending sucks, so far, the theme of the book has been about how ideas spread. But I want to focus on one part that he discusses regarding connections, which has inadvertently become the theme of my newsletter this edition.
He notes that statistically, people who get jobs through others often get those jobs through acquaintances, not friends. And the reasoning he unravels is fascinating:
“Your friends occupy the same world that you do... how much then would they know that you wouldn’t know? Your acquaintances, on the other hand, by definition, occupy a very different world than you. They are much more likely to know something that you don’t. Acquaintances represent a sort of social power, and the more acquaintances you have, the more powerful you are.”
So, how powerful are you? Gladwell actually has a Phone Book test you can take to see.
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