3 Ways to Make Rest Part of Your System
Breaking Free from America's Go-Go-Go Culture
When I lived in Madrid, carrying a portable coffee mug was like wearing a scarlet "A" for American. I carried my green State Department travel mug everywhere, on buses, in taxis, walking to work. It felt comforting to have it with me. But for many Europeans, it was a disturbing sight. How long does it take you to sit down and drink that coffee? Why not stop, take it in, and enjoy?
That green travel mug wasn't just a beverage container; it was a symbol of an entire cultural system built around motion. While Europeans had mastered the art of sitting, savoring, and actually experiencing their morning coffee, I was optimized for efficiency and productivity.
Our entire food culture screams "keep moving." Overnight oats? Grab-and-go. Granola bars? Eat while walking. Yogurt tubes? Squeeze and sprint. Our slowest breakfast food is probably cereal, that takes all of 15 minutes to prepare and consume but usually must be done comfortably sitting.
Our food reveals how productivity has become an excessive part of our systemic choices.
The numbers back this up. While 78% of Europeans report being satisfied with their work-life balance, only 34% of Americans can say the same. We're literally engineered for motion while other cultures have built systems around presence and rest.
Make no mistake, I work in DC. I'm as addicted to productivity as they come. But like many of my friends, I've gone from revering hustle culture to having great disdain for its insatiable nature. So lately, I've been trying some new things to help me find balance, and I want to share three that I've tried here.
1. Rest Retreats
This was hands-down the best investment I made in my sanity this year. As a mother of two toddlers married to another human who also requires occasional attention, I discovered that rest inside my house is about as realistic as unicorns.
So I went out for a two-day retreat.
It was such a phenomenal experience. I was able to pause and take a moment to actually take things in. People do all kinds of vacations, but a two-day rest retreat was exactly what I needed to realize that my body was almost in a state of shock. I took a nap outside the house, meditated, thought about things, and poured back into myself. It was just such a rich experience.
It sounds almost criminally simple, but removing yourself from your regular environment to actually pause and take in the world around you engages completely different neural pathways. It's like giving your brain permission to exist without a to-do list attached.
2. Virtual Connection with Other Moms
I recently did this thing with other mothers on Zoom where we shared our energies and learned about healing from parental trauma. It wasn't necessarily that there was one particular trauma we'd all experienced, but just the idea of becoming a mother and talking about the difficulties of transitioning into that space was healthy for me.
It became a great way to pour back into myself as a human being, not just as someone's mom or employee. Plus, doing it virtually meant I could participate in my pajamas, the best way to pour back into me.
3. Thematic Dinners
I went to a dinner with some really cool women, and this dinner was defined as “defiant joy.” The concept was that even if things in the world around you seem crazy, you were going to make a choice to be joyful.
The dinner was led through intimate conversation with a series of prompts that we all discussed. It was really nice to take time with these women to find the things we're joyful about, the things that give us reason to be excited about life and living.
The Europeans would appreciate this one because it's about sitting and eating for a sustained time.
Making the System Shift
These aren't just individual tactics, they represent different ways to find peace and rest—especially in this tumultuous time when people are going through a lot, maybe losing jobs and dealing with uncertainty.
The goal isn't to abandon productivity entirely (I still live in DC, after all), but to recognize that our current system prioritizes motion over presence. We can design our lives differently. We can create systems that actually allow us to breathe.
Maybe it's time to put down the travel mug, sit with our coffee, and remember that rest isn't the enemy of productivity, it's what makes sustainable productivity possible.
Books
No Herd update this week, took a break. See? Leaning into the rest thing.
Since I always like to talk about at least one book that I'm interested in, I wanted to share this one. I haven't read The Rest Revolution: How to Reclaim Your Rhythm and Conquer Burnout When Overworking Has Become the Norm yet, but I wanted to give a shout out to the author,
. I actually met her at the rest retreat, and she really poured into me. So I wanted to share her book.Subscribe and Share
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Thanks for the shout out, Jenny! Let’s grab coffee - European style - sometime :)
Hi! Do you mind sharing what the rest retreat is or how I can find one? Sounds like a dream!